Have you seen my ghost?

"So that's how I learned the lesson that everyones alone and you eyes must do some raining if you're ever gonna grow. But when crying don't help, you can't compose yourself, it's best to compose a poem, an honest verse of longing or a simple song of hope."-Bright Eyes

Chance is what I count on and how I make it through. Found a ghost in my bedroom and quickly found a friend. Said all the things I was scared to say just to say them. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and cleared the cob webs from inside my head. Dealt with life and death day in and day out, thought I would come away stronger but I just came away exhausted. Put one foot in front of the other only to jump backwards. This was the high wire act to which I had been attempting to scale. Kept on thinking of the books I was meaning to read and the things I was trying to write but only could see.

I was up in Seattle recently, I wish I could say the same for my mind. I intend to enjoy the city in it's fullness next time I am up there. I will walk around Pikes market and pretend I am an intellectual or some bohemian that lives in the city and creates things no one can really understand. I will enjoy the rain. I will feel things I want to feel, I will see the goodness of things. My mind was off worrying about the pointless yet again and robbed me of a good time. Worrying is just a bad habit that is so hard to break.

"Are you some kind of medicine man? Cut the demons out of my head"-Wintersleep

Doctor, please help me find myself again? I fell off a cliff trying to be hero to a person who never bothered to notice. I fell down to the bottom and it hurts to get back up, so I have stayed here sending letters and seeking recommendations, reading books and convincing myself that they were all wrong. And I stare off into space for hours as I mull over scary movies inside my head. I wonder about time and pain and which will be the first to end. I wonder about myself and all my friends. I wonder about all the letters that were returned back to me. I wonder what it feels like to feel free. So Doctor, please don't prescribe me a light blue or tiny white pill, just give me a reason to feel hope and make time stand still. Doctor, Doctor, see me through, or anyone who claims to heal the lame and crippled.

On other notes, music has been found that is quite great, check out this!

Or this....

And finally this (maybe my favorite jazz moment of all time) This one ain't bad either (check it out)

The jazz got the number 3 pick, life can't be all bad.

Waiting for the draft,

A postcard from the lost (and looking for my ghost)

P.S. Be good to people, don't be like this guy....