Dear Boy, where have you been?

"Love is all from what I've heard but my heart has learned to kill..." - Tallest Man on Earth

I have decided to start over, I have lost track on just how many times I have actually said this to myself and to the world and I will most likely say it again.

My baby sister is a truly beautiful individual, I wish I could take credit for molding her into the person she is... she suggested I start trying this blogging thing again, let's hope I find some solace in this vast room they call the internet.

If you are truly interested in reading things of worth and of hope, please click here.

I haven't attempted blogging in almost a year, the things that have been on my mind have been to heavy for my fingers to type and the words to harsh to been seen on a screen.

I have developed a jaded view of this place we call the world. I talked about this with one of my best friends the other day. We talked about the loss of hope and belief of good in the world. We both had been involved in lines of work in which we see the worst in humanity. It saddened me to think of the hope we used to have in the world, in humanity, in ourselves, in each other. I felt we both had been broken and burdened by the evil we had witnessed. How I wish I still had hope for the goodness of man...

Not to say that I don't see the good in life... there are many beautiful and sacred things I have witnessed. I just have been forced to deal with many terrible things and they have spoiled my joy and have caused many sleepless nights and anxiety ridden days.

I wish to see myself and be content with what I see

I wish to find her and share my soul

I wish to be someone and something someone else needs and wants

I wish belief

I wish faith

I wish love

I wish you ...

I believe in the Lord

I believe in the Word

I believe in the Restoration

I believe the good will eventually triumph, evil just has the upper hand right now

I believe in eternity

I believe in heaven

I believe in hell

I believe in beauty

I believe in you

I'm just not sure if I believe in me yet...

I need to be in the moment, the future only creates problems for my present and the past won't let me change anything about it.

These random thoughts aren't my intention, however they are what my soul yearns to say right now. Nothing makes sense but usually when you are dealing with confusion, nothing makes sense, not even your own thoughts.

This is me

This is my search for my own home

This is what I am

Please have patience with me, I know I sound like a mad man

I just haven't written in ages and my thoughts are as broken as my smile

I pray for healing

I pray for solace

I pray for forgiveness

I pray for you...

Be good to one another. After all, we are all we got...

With all the sincerity,

A Postcard from the lost

"I used to be the captain who stayed the course, when the stormed rolled up and showed us all it's worst" - Brand New