Pointless

It's Wednesday... it appeared out of no where. I lose track of time sometimes. Sometimes I think its theraputic to lose track of time. When you forget time, growth becomes more natural. It is less forced. Things come in their own way, and often we forget to also let them come in their own time. Everyone has their own clock. I feel like my second hand skips at time and gets stuck at others.

"Days bunch up in weeks, collaborate in months against me"-The Honorary Title

It's days like this that you wonder how time crept up on you this fast, or how you got to the place you are at. It could be the fact I have a huge paper to do that I have seriously procrastinated. It could be the fact that days have turned into nights and nights turned into days. Insomnia or anxiety... what is the difference? The end result is the same: Fatigue.

Worrying leads to restlessness

Restlessness turns into insomnia

Insomnia produces loneliness

Loneliness ruins sunshine

"Sometimes I get so lonely I forget what day it is, and how to spell my own name"-Lars and the Real Girl (I rediscovered the genius of that movie. Rediscovery is almost as good as the the initial discovery. It's like finding yourself again or seeing a good friend after years of separation. It's a reunion of you and truth.)

I have this research paper to do for English. I should be excited though, this is my last English class then I am done. I chose the topic of the possibilities of a another cold war taking place should the internet become a human right. At first I felt really intelligent coming up with a topic like that. Right now, regret is setting in as it feels impossible to find sources that will help support my argument, or even dis-prove it for that matter. What was I thinking? I feel ambitious sometimes but over achieving has never been my talent.

This is my constant flow of thought. Pointless, random, and never unique. I just talk to console myself, and to help me realize I am still breathing and there are still things to be grateful for.

I am lost... or at least someone told me I should be.

This is is just ramblings, grumblings, thoughts.

Sorry I wasted your time,

A postcard from the lost