Water Run...

"Lord, I'd follow to the river bend, water run over me.

I'd follow to the river bed as long as these eyes can see.

I'd follow You anywhere You go, Lord, watch over me.

I'd follow You into the river bed, water run over me."-Joshua James

I miss innocence. I miss the way I used to be. I miss the people. I miss faith. I miss my Father...

"Weep for yourself my man, you will never be what is in your heart. Weep little lion man, you're not as brave as you were at the start. Rate yourself and rake yourself. Take all the courage that you have left and waste it on fixing all the problems you have made in your own head"-Mumford & Sons

"I used to sleep without a single stir because I was about my Father's work."-Brand New

I was thinking the other day about faith and how I always feel I lack it, that I almost feel empty of it. It's a depressing thought to have. Yet I wonder, have I ever had faith? Am I selling myself short? Do I have the wrong idea entirely? I get up every morning, some mornings are harder than others, but I still get up. I go to school even though I still have no clue what I am going to do. I still worry, I still doubt. I still have faith though, I think. It's just not perfect. Oh how far away it is from perfect.

"I said I could rise from the harness of our goals. Here come the tears, but like always I let them go..."-Tallest Man on Earth

I have been witness to some very sacred and beautiful things in Life. I have seen the hand of the Lord in many areas of my life. I have seen His hand in many others life. The Lord has been kind and patient with me. I wish I were as patient with myself as He is with me. I just want to make Him proud, to do what He needs me to do. I am just trying to figure it all out... I am going as fast as I can.

"Moving mountains ain't no thing to me. I have faith enough to cast them to the sea. But I don't know the first thing about love..."-Thrice

Where I have found God:

In a concert hall when I was 15

In a classroom

Driving on I-15 and just thinking

Overlooking Las Vegas from a window talking to a friend

In a blessing

In the Lonestar state

Late at night kneeling on an apartment floor

In a testimony of a dear friend

In the Word of the Lord

In the words of His prophets

In the river

In His house

In my father's strength

In my mother's voice

In a letter

In trials

In you...

"And I said "Oh my Lord, why am I not strong? Like the wheel that keeps travelers traveling on? Like the wheel that will take you home?'" - Tallest Man On Earth

I still wish for strength. I hope for good things. I have faith that things will work out, sometimes I just have to keep calm. I pray, or at least I try. I just hope the blessings will balance out the hard. I pray for a new lens. I pray for new sight. For renewed optimism. For faith...

"Now that I have to come to think of it, there is no practical problem before me at all. I know the two great commandments. I better get on with them"-C.S. Lewis

I think I just need to keep on trying. Things will come in His own time. If He let me have all the things needed only when I wanted them, I would be in a far deeper hole than I think I am already in. My wisdom is still in it's infancy. I will hand my understanding over to Him. I think that is my answer for faith, at least for now: Just keep trying, keep moving.

"Everyone get's what they want too fast these days. No one knows the way to make things last."-Joshua Radin

Lord, please be patient with me. Help me be patient with time. Help time be patient with me.

I am sorry for being late and for faltering. I am trying...

Praying,

A postcard from the lost (and longing to come home)

"My angel flies and carries all my fears."-New Amsterdams